Let me dive straight in with a quick disclaimer: what follows is a hugely generalised (yet eerily relatable) observation. Here it is: men are more wary of going to the doctor than women. They just are.
We see it all the time in our clinic lists, and we hear it daily from the voices of mums, wives, and daughters calling to book appointments by proxy for the men in their lives.
It’s not that men don’t have health concerns. Of course they do. But getting that concern to translate into an actual doctor’s appointment? That’s another matter entirely. And even once they’re in the consulting room, teasing out the real reason they’ve come can feel like a bit of a dark art.
So why is this even a “thing”?
Multiple reasons, no doubt.
Top of the list? Social conditioning. Thankfully, times are changing, but for many men over 30, the "boys don’t cry" messaging started in the nursery playground and never quite stopped. This makes it far more likely they’ll “put up and shut up” for as long as possible, rather than admit something’s wrong. And even if they do acknowledge the issue, there’s often the hope it’ll resolve on its own, or the urge to try a DIY fix first.
Another common excuse? “I’m too busy.” Really? We’re all busy. But to suggest men, across the board, are busier than women? That’s a bold claim (a little foolhardy to say out loud, even 😉). With flexible working hours and the option for remote consultations, this old chestnut really needs to be retired. If the will to seek help is there, we’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen.
Now, if getting a male patient into the room is the first hurdle, the second is coaxing out the real issue. Entire consultations can go by discussing some minor concern, only for the big reveal to come, quite literally, with a hand on the door handle. Real-life examples include:
“There’s blood in my semen.”
“I called the Samaritans last night.”
“Do you have vaccines for STIs?”
We may never fully eliminate the natural discomfort around discussing intimate issues, or the fear of awkward examinations, but please know: for your doctor, talking about bodily functions is absolutely routine. It’s not embarrassing, and it’s not awkward. It’s just information that helps us look after you.
Whatever trick you need to get yourself talking, go for it, we're on your team. Write your concerns on a piece of paper and hand it to your doctor. Type them into the booking notes if you're making an appointment online. Use humour, if that helps. Or just say: “This is hard for me, so I need to say it quickly…”
Whatever works for you, your doctor is ready to listen, and genuinely wants to help.
Finally, if you’re finding it hard to book in for a specific concern, or if you'd rather avoid curious questions from friends or family, a wellness check is always a smart and legitimate reason to see your GP. What gets discussed in the consultation is completely up to you—and as always, entirely confidential.
Wishing you a wonderful week,
Gemma & all at Winchester GP x