Christmas is a time of year when many of us will be catching up with elderly relatives. Even if we keep up with them regularly on video or phone, a face to face catch up might be the first time we notice that they aren’t coping as well as they used to with day to day life.
When do we suggest that more assistance might be needed?
And how do we start that sensitive conversation?
Read on for some top tips from our doctors…
How to tell if an elderly loved one is struggling
Below are the broad areas to consider when trying to evaluate whether further assistance is needed:
Struggling to self-care: cook, wash/toilet or handle medication.
Issues regarding safety: memory problems, handling finances, ability to drive safely, tenuous mobility
Communication difficulties (hearing or sight) or social isolation leading to mental health problems
How to start a conversation about getting further support
If you feel that an elderly relative is struggling with any of the above, it's important to approach any conversation as sensitively and gently as possible. If they acknowledge their problems and are willing, then booking a doctor's appointment to discuss them specifically is the obvious way to go. But sometimes, one might need to approach the topic more obliquely. A general health check, or wellness screen is one option. This works because it is a medical appointment, yet not one that screams 'Houston, we have a problem'. It is simply a precautionary check (like an MOT) or a proactive approach (a stitch in time, and all that... ). Of course, it's an even easier 'sell' if you are leading by example, and are already having them yourself ;-)
The Winchester GP wellness screen includes a broad range of blood tests including those which (among other things) are used as part of a frailty assessment (for both physical and cognitive concerns). So, if there are any treatable factors contributing to your loved one's challenges, this is a great way to uncover them.
Another great thing about the wellness screen is that it includes an extended consultation with one of our GPs- anything from 40-80 minutes, your choice. And, unlike some of the more corporate/cookie-cutter providers, you can tailor this conversation anyway you wish. It will, of course, include a detailed run-through of the test results, but it will also segue into a broader discussion, including mental well-being. And any physical factors our doctors notice on examination, such as mobility issues, skin issues or general signs of poor self-care, will very naturally lead to an exploration of where the challenges lie and how these might be improved.
A health screen is not the only way to start a conversation about 'the next phase' - but the important thing is to start the conversation, somehow. Often, we find that old people are reticent in discussing health concerns out of fear of what lies next. They may also have an outdated 'worst case' scenario of what 'care' looks like. Coming to the conversation with a good understanding of the different options available, many of which are delivered in the home, is a great idea. There are plenty of excellent online resources out there - Age UK is a great place to start. And, if you have some positive real-life case studies to quote (ask friends, or by all means ask us), so much the better. That way, you can allay your loved ones' fears and start looking forward together to a safer and brighter future.
For more info on health concerns in the elderly, we have an excellent blog posthere by Dr Catherine.